Coming out as a gay Mormon admittedly sucks.
Here’s one guy who is just a little to flippant about the whole thing, which makes me suspect that there’s more going on here than meets the eye. I haven’t quite figured out what that is exactly, but it looks too well produced. It comes across as too comical, almost like a practical joke…or eerily similar to those I am a Mormon ads.
I was going to write a long post about it, but then I found this one that said everything I was about to:
I have an easy 30 second recipe for Jimmy for how being gay doesn’t suck.
Take out the Mormon.
Voila!
Being gay is awesome! I’m sorry you and your bishop feel differently… Because all you really did was shout from the closet. You didn’t come out of anything. Read about how Mormon Brett Bradshaw managed to actually come out and find love HERE (other truly compassionate stories HERE. These will help where your bishop failed).
See Also:
Improving Your Image
Mormon Church’s Perception Problem
Coming out of a Closet
Coming out advice
What I Love About Being Gay And Out
Things That Make Me Smile #2 (see the George Takei method of coming out at the bottom)
Dad's Primal Scream 
Pingback: Sunday in Outer Blogness: Exotic Edition! » Main Street Plaza
Oh, just ran across this, a background blog post by the kid: http://jimmyleehales.blogspot.com/2013/02/a-gay-mormon-coming-out-jimmy-hales.html
It’s way better to read that than just watch the video.
I appreciate your thoughts, but you’re wondering if there’s “more to it” strikes me as conspiracy theory-like thinking. From my perspective closer to his age (no offense) and more in tune with younger church culture, this seems genuine to me.
It is frustrating to me to watch, too, but as I told a friend of mine: it’s precisely this kind of thing that blow the cultural taboo out of the water and will make people in the Church actually _think_ about homosexuality and what they are saying and believing. And, as I told my friend, it wouldn’t surprise me if this guy puts up a follow-up video in a few years…
I see your point but if you knew me, you’d know I am sooo not the conspiracy theory type. I think it may be a generational thing. I’m guessing Dean, who commented above is closer to my age and like me he saw something else to it. For me, I couldn’t FATHOM coming out at BYU in the 80’s when I was there. Like I said in the post, it just seemed so trivialized in the video and my coming out and been anything but. I can appreciate that being closer to his age it rings truer to you.
I did read the blog post you provided the link to and it explains some of the angst and frustration that is totally missing from the video. You also see why it has some better production value than the usual YouTube video. So, I find it all much more believable now.
He is asking some fantastic question such as, “Where’s the line for a gay Mormon man to remain chaste?” and “What self-respecting gay Man would choose to be Mormon?”
That means he’s at least willing to challenge some things. I have way more hope for him than I did from just watching the video.
Yes! Me, too, and for the Church (members, gay and straight), too! It’s wonderful that a gay Mormon of the celibate variety can so openly ask these questions. He, and others like him, will have to be heard and addressed. Step by step, I guess. When those questions are honestly addressed, then people can no longer choose to remain ignorant.
Let’s be honest — can we expect a faithful, believing Mormon to be anything but awkward and slightly fake about coming out? Good for this boy for recognising what he is and acknowledging it, but the socially awkward cognitive dissonance isn’t going to go away until he takes your advice and removes the “Mormon” from the “Gay Mormon.”
I found the video very awkward. It makes me wonder if it is “real.” At any rate I agree with your thoughts, the other blog that you linked to this post, and January Morning’s comments.
I watched that video the other day and it was gut wrenching. He was very flippant and it made his “coming out” to others very awkward. It did get me to thinking though. There is this cultural “doctrine” going around Mormondom right now. It is that as a gay Mormon it is okay to feel these feeling and that all the church asks is for you to stay celibate for the rest of your life, if you are not interested in a mixed orientation marriage. The problem with this line of “doctrine” is that it supposes that being gay is about having sex. Actually, the church is asking you to live your life alone and to not have a life long partner and family to share your life with. That is devastating, lonely, and depressing, especially if you have found love. The church as a whole is not okay with you creating a family with your same sex partner regardless if there is sex or not. Sex is used a way to make it seem like a moral issue and a matter of will power.
I love my partner more than any person or thing in the world. Our sex life is great, but it is not the basis of our relationship. We didn’t chose our relationship over the church because we want to have sex (even though for a long time we thought this was the biggest issue), we did this because we want to live a life together and to have a family. We are in the process of trying to get pregnant and we are both 35 now which is a little old to be starting the process. We can’t go back and change our decisions, but I wish that I could talk to every 20 something gay mormon and tell them our story. My partner and I struggled together to overcome loving each other for ten years. We were so faithful to the church and about 2 years ago we realized that we wanted to be a family.
If he doesn’t want to marry someone of the opposite sex then he really has two choices, find someone to share his life with of the same sex and go against the church or live a lonely life within a church that built around families.