Things That Make Me Smile #6

Tags

Fatherhood, homo, Humor, Movies, TV

Please Like Me

I found this little binge-worthy gem on Hulu. It was a Friday night alone after a long, hard traveling work week. I was exhausted and didn’t have the energy to go out but still felt like spending some quality time with my own kind. After surfing Amazon Prime Video and Netflix I was lamenting to myself the lack of quality LGBTQ entertainment when I stumbled upon this Australian diamond.
There are 2 seasons on Hulu that follow Joshua an obviously gay, but only freshly out twenty-year-old through his underachieving life with his straight friends and dysfunctional parents. Some have called it the LGBTQ “GIRLS.” These are definitely imperfect people just like in Girls, but if you’re like me you’ll still appreciate the occasional eye candy, like Joshua’s first boyfriend Geoffrey

 

The fact that I was nominated for a Brodie award!

The purpose of the Brodie Awards is to recognize Mormon themed material on the Internet. There are several categories, and I’m nominated in TWO! (Confession: I nominated one of my blog posts – which is totally legit, but someone else nominated another of my blog posts!)

Go vote for me if you agree that these blog posts should win the category:

• Funniest Humor Piece: Dad’s Primal Scream’s Insta-Gay and Lickety-Split Lesbian
• Best Mormon Parenting Piece: Dad’s Primal Scream’s series on his kids and the policy

Also, consider voting for my friends in these categories:

• Most Poignant Personal Story: I just ache, by Kiley
• Best Advice: Appearing on the TLC Network will only get you into trouble, by Gay Mormon Southpaw
• Best Response to Apologetics: Kennewick Man breaks Heartland hearts, by Simon Southerton
• Best Mormonism-and-Gender Discussion: Why It’s Tough to Be a Mormon Man, by Angela C
• Best LDS-Interest Book (Fiction): A Danger to God Himself, by John Draper

If nothing else, go read all these posts nominated in the category of Best Mormonism-and-Orientation Post:

• Soulmates, by myrtlejoy
• Church Lovingly Bars Certain Children from Membership, by Stake Pres.
• Revelation that Calls for Others to Sacrifice, by Lynnette
• Duty Bound to Reject it! by Bill Reel
• LDS Church Clarifies Stance on Same-Sex Childhood Apostasy, by Russ Stewart
• Consequences, Intended or Otherwise, by Julie M. Smith
• Michael Ferguson, Seth Anderson/ Fighting Gay Conversion Therapy, by Mormon Stories

Some recent smart ass memes

GeoGuesser

As a complete Geography nerd I love this game/time-waster. Using Google street view, the game drops you at a random location in the world and your task is to figure out where it is. After quite a bit of moving around, I can sometimes get within yards of guessing the actual starting point… Great fun. It’s available on smartphone too!

 

Taking my girls on their first Ski trip!

Almost every winter I’ve taken the kids to play in the snow in local mountains (Remember, they’ve grown up in Southern California and Phoenix). But this year I cashed in some travel points and took them full on skiing in nearby New Mexico.

After a morning of lessons, they hit the slopes and by day’s end they’d all converted to ski bunnies.

The next day we explored Santa Fe.

This was the first time they had ever seen snow fall! That led to one of the comments every dad wants to hear on a family vacation,

This is one of the best moments of my life!! Thanks Dad!

 

Relatives of LDS Church Authorities With the Balls to Speak up in Support of LGBT folks

• Laura Roper Andreasen – Granddaughter of LDS Apostle M. Russell Ballard

• Eric Reeves, Son of LDS Relief Society General Presidency 2nd Counselor Linda S. Reeves, Encourages Open Opposition to LDS Church SGA Policy Changes

The irony that the “other” Mormons are more Christian/Christ-like and their “Prophet” more of a leader than LDS counterparts

• Stephen M. Veazey, Prophet-President of Community of Christ (Formerly RLDS Church)

Nope, still not joining another religion, but this would definitely be one I’d consider if I did.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Insta-Gay

Tags

Gay, Humor, Mormon

Are you a straight ex-Mormon with a spouse or ex-spouse who still wants to baptize your kids?

Do you want to prevent it without looking like an asshole?

Well, now you can with my Insta-Gay service. I’ll be your gay boyfriend for a day!

You can choose from either of two plans:

Bed n Brunch or  Airport Speed Date

With Bed n Brunch you’ll get the real thing and it’s your most authentic option.

We’ll start off with a long walk on the beach where we can get to know one another better. We’ll take off our shoes, giggle and splash each other in the shallow water only to come together in a passionate embrace and a long, deep kiss while the waves crash about us.

My real boyfriend, Ricky, will follow at a distance with a camera to capture the evidence. From there we’ll walk hand in hand to our beach side hotel room where I’ll do my best to make you question whether this is real for you or not.

I’m versatile so anything can happen. It’s up to you. We’ll wake up in the morning spooning (I’m the inside spoon). You’ll laugh because your downward arm will have fallen asleep. At which point we’ll finally get up and shower together. It will be bittersweet because this will be our first and last shower together.

Then, it’s on to brunch! We’ll sip mimosas and gaze knowingly into each other’s eyes.

Ricky will download all the evidence of our “relationship” and have it ready on a nice flash drive for you by the time our check arrives. We’ll part ways but keep each other as contacts in our phones. You know, *wink, wink* so you can text me pictures of your non-Mormon kids as they grow up without Primary and Mutual all thanks to me.

Airport Speed Date is for you out of towners who can’t spend a full weekend with me… or for those of you who just really are straight.

You’ll fly into town with just an hour layover at my local airport. So as to not creep you out too much, Ricky will stay at home. I’ll greet you at the gate with a firm handshake and we’ll go get a root beer together at the airport pub. Our waitress will take a picture with your phone of us kissing, toasting our “love.” Just once. Quick. No tongue. I promise.

I’ll bring baby wipes and mouthwash for you.

Afterwards, you’ll hop on the plane back home to your family and your straight, butch life. You can share that picture just with your bishop to get the mandatory exemption for your family.

All I want to do is serve my fellow man.

There’s a lawyer in the Ex-Mormon community that offers to process resignations from the Church for free.

What awesome selfless service!

I find it inspiring.

So, to do my part…I give you Insta-Gay. We’ll make it so convincing that the church won’t LET THEM be baptized!

Please send applications directly to me and include a face pic. Unlike the Mormon church, no request will be rejected here. Just be freshly showered and hygienic.

Feel free to share with your friends! I’m sure my calendar will be filling up fast. My time is limited, so act now!

For the ladies, see Lickety-split Lesbian

Happy Father’s Day! Ignore The Comediennes and Douche Bags

Tags

Gay, Humor, Marriage, Mormon, Relationships, same sex marriage

I thought this would be an appropriate re-blog from August 2012….Happy Father’s Day!

Setting aside all the obvious sexual compatibility reasons, there’s something about being the man in a hetero-normative relationship that just didn’t settle comfortably on me.

The default assumption is that a straight man is a messy thoughtless and fumbling creature without the guidance and care of a good woman by his side.

Even as a father, taking an interest in the nurturing and care of children is seen as a part-time task for a normal straight man. When I’d stay home to care for the kids it was referred to as “babysitting.”

Actually being an engaged father and enthusiastic caretaker of our home made me the odd man out in the straight world I was pretending to inhabit. But it was more than just the nuances of my expected fatherly and husbandly roles that sat awkwardly with me, it was also the nature of the expected relationship with my wife.

Take the following comment on a completely unrelated Mormon Expression podcast:

Husband X

When my wife is having insomnia and she is tired but really wants to go to sleep, I kid you not, she will ask me to talk to her about something that is interesting to me lately. Within 5 minutes she’s out. Its so funny to me.

Husband Y

My wife has described this phenomenon as a “Brandt Rant.” Then, when I start running out of steam and ask her a question, all I hear is “zzzzzzzzzzzz”

I think most people would read that and smile, thinking “how cute,” right? I read it and think what assholes their wives are (I apologize ahead of time to these 2 men and their wives. I’m sure they are all kind, loving people. At least I changed the names *smile*).

Just to understand my perspective a bit, let’s switch the roles around. Let’s say it’s Husband X that has insomnia and therefore he’s the one that says to his wife,

“Honey I’m having trouble sleeping. Tell me about something that interests you so that I can sleep.”

It’s not so funny that time is it? What woman wants to be married to that? I personally can’t understand why any man wants it either.

When he says it, he is a douche bag.

When she says it, she is a comedienne.

Men posing as women. Sometimes role reversal and equality just don’t work.

I used to think this was a Mormon phenomenon because I’d hear stuff like this all the time in Elder’s Quorum and around the campfire at father-son campouts. But you can find that same sort of, “Aw shucks! I’m a fool and my wife saves me” male all over in TV sitcoms.

Here’s another quote I found…

My wife simultaneously enjoyed the fruits of my non-traditional nature while she also held the same stereotypical expectations of me. I’m not joking about this next one… once when I was choosing a new vehicle for me to get to and from work she became incensed that I didn’t actually want a pickup truck…like any man in her family or in our neighborhood would (yeah, we’re talking borderline redneckville here). In the Mormon world having a pickup truck is a big broadcast message saying, “I’ll help you move!” If you’re in Elders Quorum you’ll already be assigned to do that plenty with a just a sedan. There’s no need to invite it! Getting an economical Honda Civic that merely got me to work and back somehow made me less of a man.

There’s some sort of gene that a male is supposed to possess that encourages him to broadcasts his manliness to the world via cars, trucks and a bumbling nature around his wife that merely escaped me. Someone should search for THAT. It just may be the gay gene.

Male comic characters in female comic character poses.

The odd difference between being a man/woman or father/mother is nowhere more evident than in the contrast between Mothers and Fathers Day in the Mormon Church.

For Mothers Day, there are talks about the divinity of womanhood. Women are to be honored just because they have a vagina and even more so if there’s been some outgoing traffic in there. LDS wards pass out flowers or candy to all of the women.  At the end of Sacrament Meeting they ask all the women to stand and the youth or Elder’s Quorum distributes the goodies…and in wards that I lived in they made certain that even childless women got one.  They made it a celebration of womanhood, not just motherhood.

If, and that’s a big “IF”, Fathers Day is mentioned at all, it’s a lesson on how men need to be better fathers, honor their priesthood more, etc… Their penises apparently aren’t sufficient apparatuses for praise all by themselves.

That happens the other 364 days of the year.

Everyone knows men have all the power in Mormonism. So they try to downplay manhood and highlight womanhood so no one will take a good long look at the reality. Women are told how wonderful they are so they won’t notice that they are actually disregarded and have second-rate status in the church. Every other day of the year is a celebration of manhood in Mormonism.

As a man, though, and a pretty good father if I do say so myself, I find the attitude  condescending. Often in priesthood meeting they’ll say something insulting to the young men like, “Well, you’re certainly not as good-looking as the young women, but hey you’re priesthood holders so there’s your worth.”  Or the MTC Mission President who says, “Elders, look at these sisters. They’ll get done in 18 months what will take you 2 years.” I couldn’t stand that as a young boy and it never sat well with me as an adult either.

Even while gay pretending to be straight I was still a man and therefore had more power and authority in the LDS Church than ANY woman in it, yet I still didn’t like being talked down to like that.

Is the subtext that straight men hold all the power in our society the sole reason that it’s funny to  demean them in a way that would be unacceptable for any woman? Is that why as a gay man I don’t buy it and never did? Because I don’t actually enjoy the fruits of heterosexual male privilege that I would if I were straight?

One of the things I really like about gay relationships is the lack of stereotypical expectations. Both partners can actually be intelligent and capable without the other being threatened. There’s not an inherent acceptance of one partner being demeaned. From what I’ve experienced and observed there’s more of an expectation of equality and more freedom to define the relationship outside societal norms…since by it’s mere existence it already is.

Ideas for Family Home Evening

This joke would be perfectly fine if it said, “A Husband”

• Watch a good old family sitcom together. As a fun exercise, try switching genders and repeating the joke. Would it still be funny?
• What did you do for your mother last Mother’s Day? What did you do for your Father? Were they equal in effort and care? Why or why not?
• Ignoring gender, would you want to be partnered with YOU?
• What would you change about your current gender roles or relationship expectations if you could?

Giggling Attack

Tags

Humor, Laughter, Mormon, Mormonism

(Reposted from 2012)

I keep telling myself that I’m going to lighten up here.

I’m really not a somber, nit-picky person as I may come across in my blog because my posts are so serious all the time.  I’m actually someone who smiles a lot by default. I’m the type of person who tends to laugh when other people are laughing even if I didn’t hear the original joke. I love a good joke, a good laugh, a good stand-up comedy routine and a raucous, silly movie.

My favorite people have really good laughs.  My 11 year old daughter laughing is pure gold.

I can even laugh at myself. I can laugh at myself when I haven’t initiated the joke.  My kids are fond of saying “Remember when Dad ________?!” The blank refers to some incident when my poor parenting either caused one of them to cry profusely, or when I almost caused them to loose a functioning body part.  Worse yet, the blank space could refer to a time when all of us almost died at my hands. I think if you’re a parent you can appreciate how NOT funny that really is…and yet hilarious to your 11 and 13 year old.

I know in all fairness I can’t say that without providing an example so here goes…

“Remember when Dad blew up the chili?!”

I take my kids camping every year around Father’s Day. It’s a lot of work to do by yourself and yet completely fun and totally worth it. So one time we were all around the campfire and one of the kids asked for some more food.  I’d already put all the dinner stuff away and so I got a can of chili and put it on a grill over the fire to warm it up. It exploded with all of us not 4 feet from the fire pit. Everyone screamed.  Two of my girls ran screaming behind the tent.  As I ran to make sure they were OK, one of them started crying “I’m bleeding! I’m bleeding!” Turns out it was just chili but in the dark it really did look like blood.

The story just became less funny after I found this picture of a kid who did what I did with less fortunate results!!! Actually, I take that back. He considered it fortunate because it burned off all his freckles. Kids…

I was amazed that my 6 year old ran so well and so quickly in the dark, but in the daytime couldn’t walk 10 feet without falling down and getting scraped.

Nobody got hurt.  Most of the chili, and all of the chili can pieces somehow missed us.  I’d just come out of the losing end of a nasty custody battle with my ex and I was sure this incident was going to cause me to lose them completely. Turns out it’s one of their favorite memories.

It’s powerful to laugh or be laughed at

I know people who won’t dance or sing or whatever as adults because they were once  laughed at as a kid.  That’s sad. Personally I’d be a bedridden zombie if I took that approach.

I watched a TV special once that documented how humor in the former Eastern Bloc countries increased over time and actually paralleled the rise of freedom.  The unanswered question was, “Did the increase in humor impact the ability of people to fight for freedom, or was humor a consequence of having more freedom?”

I’m not sure, but I suspect humor is merely symptomatic of a groundswell in thinking. When you begin to think, you see contradictions, paradoxes and hidden truths that nobody wants to admit. It’s funny to point things out that everyone is thinking but that most people are too afraid to admit.

In the tightly controlled culture of Mormonism I think humor is increasing these days. Oh yes, Mormons are still a tightly wound bunch, but back in the 70’s you would never have had Mormon movie comedies that actually poked fun at the culture, or books like the web site Latter-day Lampoon (I’m not posting a link because I read that the creator doesn’t want ex-Mormons linking to his site, so here’s a link to the article), or the Men on a Mission calendar, or Elna Baker’s book The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance.  There’s even a Palestinian Mormon comedian you can watch out there!

Are Mormons the only religion to have an official doctrine against a certain kind of laughter? It’s weird how a Google image search for “communists laughing” yielded more usable results than “Mormons laughing.” I did laugh a lot as a Mormon. I think that the “loud laughter” thing is something most of us just ignored because when we were laughing we knew deep down it was a good thing and that God was smiling too.

Does every missionary have this picture? I have one from my MTC District too.

Some of my biggest giggling attacks have happened in religious settings

I served a mission to Brazil and later lived in Japan teaching English for a year.  The Japanese word “koko” meaning “here” when spoken sounds like the Portuguese word for “shit”. I can’t count the number of times a Brazilian friend and I sat in a Japanese chapel  stifling giggles over that one. “We’d like to thank you all for coming here” or “I know here is the right place to be”… I’ve long since forgotten any Japanese but there’s also something in the Sacrament Prayer that elicited snickers from us “gaijin” every single week.

I’ve never been able to make it through the middle chapters of Alma in the Book of Mormon without a giggling attack.  I mean come on, is there anyone who can read these verses and NOT laugh? My Mom’s favorite euphemism for “butt” or “ass” was “rear” so maybe it’s funnier to me:

Alma 56:23 For we knew in those cities they were not sufficiently strong to meet them; therefore we were desirous, if they should pass by us, to fall upon them in their rear, and thus bring them up in the rear at the same time they were met in the front. We supposed that we could overpower them; but behold, we were disappointed in this our desire.Alma 52:29 Now the Lamanites did not know that Moroni had been in their rear with his army; and all they feared was Lehi and his men.

36 And Lehi pressed upon their rear with such fury with his strong men, that the Lamanites in the rear delivered up their weapons of war; and the remainder of them, being much confused, knew not whither to go or to strike.

I’m dying!  DYING!

That’s so gay!

Any God of mine is laughing too.

Things That Make Me Smile #4

Tags

Bette Davis, culturalist, Humor, musicals, smile

!! Warning: At the end there is a NSFW image and video link, but it’s not pornographic either !!

The Sound of Music…in Dutch!

This interview of Bette Davis

Roasts

Creative Insults (warning: strong language)

Culturalist

Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee.

Naked Dancing in Sweden

See Also:

Things That Make Me Smile

Things That Make Me Smile #2

Things That Make Me Smile #3

Funniest Responses to Liza Morong’s Conversion to Mormonism

Tags

Belief, Book of Mormon Musical, Humor, Mormonism, Orgazmo, South Park

 

 

 

 

 

 

The best comments responding to the conversion of Liza Morong after she attended The Book of Mormon Musical on Broadway!

 

• She has devoted her life to performance art in the name of irony.

• I’ll take the “Opposite of a Chinese Finger Trap  ” for $500, Alex.

• The truth is, she probably converted after she found out from South Park that the Mormons are the only religion allowed into heaven.

• This is akin to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad converting to Christianity after taking in Jesus Christ Superstar, isn’t it?

• Yes but who can say no to Jesus in The Americas! Shiat got real with that revelation.

• Know who else converted to Mormonism? Amy Fisher

• Yeah, I know a guy who saw ‘Cats’; went up on the roof, wouldn’t come down til he was hungry.

• I converted after watching Orgasmo.

• They’re making things up again, kind of.

• Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb.

• I wonder if she converts to a porn star after watching Orgazmo and to a Scientologist after watching Battle Field Earth or Christian after Jesus Camp

• Wow, they are hogging all the women away from us.

• She’s cute.  Is she still interested in a missionary position?

• This is the “burning in the bosom” that proves it’s true. It may be the only religion in the world that can be cured with Maalox.

• Is it bad that when I saw her picture I immediately thought she looked like she should be Mormon?

• I saw Starlight Express back in ’93 and decided to become an electric train. Shortly afterwards I saw Phantom and horribly disfigured myself so that I could buy an opera house and live out my fantasies. Musicals have power, people.

• After I saw Fiddler I had the roof coated in Teflon. Who wants Jews up there?!

• A little too much LDS

• I joined a gang after seeing this:

• Finally. Now I know what an aneurysm looks like in text form.

•  Mormonism is caucasian islam.

Things That Make Me Smile #3

Tags

Humor, Laughter, Music, questioning authority, smile

Songs performed with awesome backup dancers

• “LaLaLa” With Betty Dittrich in German!

• “These Boots Are Made For Walkin” with Nancy Sinatra

When cover songs totally flip the original on its head

• “Baby Got Back” on Glee (even though I found out it’s a complete rip-off of another dude’s version)

• “Sexy Back” with Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon

Watching serious news delivered by hot reporters

• Richard Engle – NBC

Themed Weddings

• 50’s

• Beatles

• Disney Princess

• Footloose

Questioning Authority

Helmuth Hübener

Bad Jokes 

(Here, with Woody Harrelson & John C. Reilly)

See Also:

Things That Make Me Smile

Things That Make Me Smile #2

Un-quitting

Tags

Humor

Who would have thought my new favorite word would jump out at me while watching Survivor!

Not since Stephen Colbert bestowed “truthiness” upon us have I been so thrilled with a newly coined word!

Yes, I know the reality series Survivor jumped the shark long ago.

I think it was flying over that shark around the time of “Redemption Island,” but like an old favorite pair of underwear (garments excluded), I still just can’t give it up.

As Jack Twist would say, “I wish I knew how to quit you, Survivor!”

In one of his confessionals, one of the current Survivor cast members, Reynold, was expressing exasperation at one of his fellow castaways, Shamar, who had been threatening to quit. In a complete reversal, the quitter, Shamar, expressed his renewed loyalty to his alliance and proclaimed that he wouldn’t quit after all. Reynold found it odd that a man could set himself up as a loyal hero by quitting…almost…and then “unquitting!”

Kind of like Barbara Streisand unretiring every few years, or John Dehlin recently unresigning from the Mormon Church.

My former in-laws were trend-setters. Years ago, they undivorced!

I can’t count the number of people I’ve witnessed uncancel their Facebook accounts.

Conservative, anti-gay politicians un-come out of the closet all the time!

Heroes, every one of them!

Oh yeah! I just remembered why I can’t stop watching Survivor! Looks like I am going to unquit watching the show after all…

 

My Fantasy Mormon Team

Tags

Humor, Mormon Culture, Mormons

Brothers and Sisters, after much prayer and thought, the Lord has prompted me, Dadsprimalscream the visiting General Authority, to call the following ward members to these positions. Please stand while your name is read:

Bishop:  Morgan Freeman (This speaks for itself. Wife… Tina Fey, who is actually ruling the world ward)

1st Counselor: Tommy Lee Jones (‘Cause he’s in everything. I had to put him somewhere.)

2nd Counselor: Jon Stewart (For some reason it’s always the second counselor who is really likeable and who actually knows what’s going on)

Executive Secretary: Nicolas Cage (Just a tad crazy with a creepy voice, or does it just seem that way when he calls you up for an appointment with the  Bishop?)

Ward Clerk: Johnny Depp (He’s the one meandering up and down the aisle each Sunday… you know he’s doing more than just counting people…but what?)

Relief Society President: Barbara Walters (Nose is in everyone’s business, asks inappropriate questions and her hair, makeup, or plastic surgery just seem a bit… off. Husband… Al Gore, who is under utilized in the ward. He incidentally roomed in college with Tommy Lee Jones, 1st Counselor in the Bishopric)

Primary President: Amy Adams (Super sweet for the real little kids but also just slightly hot. Husband… Ricky Gervais, someone who probably has no business being around children.)

Young Women’s President: Kelly Ripa (Fun, perky and married to the hottest man in the ward, Mark Consuelos.)

Young Men’s President: Bradley Cooper (It’s always the guy on whom the closeted gay men in the ward have a crush. He’s married to the woman on whom the straight men have a crush… Scarlett Johansson)

Ward Organist: Jesse Tyler Ferguson (You know he’s gay, right? Married to Sofia Vergara, who he met on his mission to Colombia and she has no clue he is gay. In all fairness, neither does he.)

Ward Chorister/Choir Leader: Melissa McCarthy (Enthusiastic, and you secretly suspect she could/would kick your ass if you crossed her. Not sure if she’s married or not because she sits on the stand alone and seems OK with it.)

Elder’s Quorum President: Kevin Bacon (Has worked in some capacity with everyone and he really knows how to move. Wife… Kyra Sedgwick, but you wonder why she’s not doing more.)

High Priest Group Leader: William Shatner (Because he says and does some crazy shit. But he never backs down, apologizes, or regrets anything.)

Stake High Councilman: Ben Stine (Boring people to tears as a profession and making wild assumptions.)

Weblos Leader/Scout Committee Chairperson: Kathy Bates (It’s always that someone who gives off an ax murderer vibe. Husband… Jack Nicholson)

Ward Mission Leader: President Obama (A black dude elected President TWICE? This dude could convert anyone. Yes we can!)

Missionaries: Paul Rudd and James Franco (Great guys individually, but you’d never match them together if it were up to you.)

Young Single Adult Chairpersons: Female, Lindsay Lohan; Male, Ryan Seacrest
(The female is always a hot mess while the male former missionary seems a bit too fastidious to be straight.)

Ward Activities Chairperson: Kathy Griffin (Husband…Sasha Baron Cohen. The Bishopric disapproves of almost everything they try to do.)

Sunday School President: Ben Stiller (Forgotten, until he shows up in something. Then he is OK, but you suspect he’s there just because he’s related to someone. Married to Kristy McNichol. We loved her way back when, but where is she? She’s probably less-active… sinning.)

All in favor please manifest it by raising the right hand.

All opposed by the same sign.

The following people do not need to stand when I read their name. These positions are not actual callings but we feel prompted to thank these good ward members for their faithful and consistent service:

Betty White: Past Relief Society President. She’s always willing to show up everywhere and do anything. Now she’s the lady who gets up and bears her testimony every Fast Sunday…and we understand very little of what she says. But oh what a powerful testimony!

Michael Cera: The sweet, innocent-looking Priest who blesses the sacrament each week without fail, even if he does show up late after taking a long shower to get ready. Can’t imagine what he does in there that whole time!

Fred Willard: He never made it into a Bishopric. In fact we’re not sure if he ever really had a calling. But he is the most faithful home teacher we have ever had. So, we assign him to home teach all of our inactive families and widows. They love him.

 

Things That Make Me Smile #2

Tags

Broadway, Happiness, Humor, Jesus, Rob Thomas, smile, Urinetown

I always like to follow up my downer posts with a smile.

Here’s my current list of things that make me laugh or grin:

First, the name of the musical Urinetown.

Second, this musical number from said show.

Third, Hunter Foster performing that number.

Fourth, the Dutch version.

Dutch Urinetown

* The talent of Rob Thomas

I LOVE his description of the personal impetus behind writing this song. You’d never guess it, but once he reveals it it is so powerful and clear. That is my definition of an artist; that he allows equal validity to the universality of other interpretation. I love him as a solo artist. I love him in Matchbox 20. I’ve been a fan for so long. I loved him when it was only Matchbox 5.

* Olympians

* Olympic Divers in freeze frame Photoshopped on the toilet

* Harry Potter singing and dancing on Broadway… and especially the dancer on his left (your right) at 1:00.

* People who look like Jesus

Albino Jesus

 

* Nev Schulman’s Eyes and chest

* Max Joseph, Nev’s sidekick on Catfish the TV Show

* Neil Patrick Harris in just about anything but especially hosting the Tony Awards 2011, 2012 

(NPH bonus video HERE: check out the woman at the bottom right of the screen)

* President Obama mouthing the words to Led Zeppelin songs during the Kennedy Center Honors 2012 (12:20)

* Unshaven body hair

* “Reality” TV

* “But wait! There’s more!”

…Best coming out idea ever.

Come out with George Takei!

See also:

Things That Make Me Smile 1