This month make two years of Dad’s Primal Scream!
Happy Anniversary to me!
A lot has changed for me in those 2 years and so much more is going to change. A common but often unwritten thread throughout my posts is the angst I constantly feel at being separated by such a long distance from my children. I’ve hemmed and hawed about the ability or even the wisdom of moving closer to them.
Because of my work, I was never ever really that close to making the decision to move anyway so it was always just a talking point. Clearly being unemployed isn’t the open pathway I was hoping for either…nevertheless, I’M MOVING!
After reading my Falling Out of Love post it’s probably clear that I’m no stranger to impulse. I’m often hesitant at making unclear decisions and judgments, but once an idea cements itself in my heart and brain, it’s done…and it’s a quick-drying cement.
Sometime on Monday of this week after a phone with my children, I hung up and said to myself, “I’m moving.” Nothing significant really happened. I don’t even think there was a tipping point..except that it bothered me that my 15 year old son would be playing this week in his first high school football game. And instead of being there to witness it, I’d be 4 hours away at home alone staring at the walls…not because I had a job here anymore, or a relationship here or anything here really, but because I live here and he lives there.
I’m a little embarrassed that I didn’t just do this the day I lost my job. I’d looked into it before but it just didn’t seem possible. That’s because I wasn’t really convinced it’s what I wanted. I want to be near my children. Period.
Once I made the decision I didn’t know HOW. I just knew the outcome. I’ve since given notice to my landlord here, secured lodging there where they’d accept my unemployment status (5 miles from my ex-wife), called my ex-wife to ensure that I’d indeed not encounter resistance at modifying our custody arrangement. There’s no point in moving if it doesn’t mean more time with the kids. The call went well and she even sounded glad to hear it. She recognizes that especially our 13 year old girl needs her Dad. Progress.
Now I just need the money to accomplish it. I don’t know how, but I’ll make that happen. I’m happy and at peace with my decision.
Now, getting back to my 2 year blog anniversary celebration… Due to my impending move I won’t be posting as much, but I’ve decided to re-post some of my earlier stuff written long before anyone actually visited this blog. Most people, like me, don’t backtrack and read archives when they find a blog they like. So, every day or two I’m going to pull some of my prouder moments back up front until I have settled in to my new home.
Hope you like. I’ll still reply to comments so feel free join the discussion.