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“Oh my! What will we tell the children when the gays come shoving it in our faces!?”

News Flash: They’re already here and always have been!

But since you asked, here’s how it is done:

Two years ago I was invited to a long-time friend’s wedding. We go way back to elementary school together and had recently reunited after bumping into one another at a “No on Prop 8” volunteer meeting.

After my babysitter stood me up, I called my friend to tell her I couldn’t attend her wedding because I didn’t have a sitter.

“Bring them! Please come!”

I swallowed hard, because my friend is a lesbian…not that I have a problem with it  obviously, but because my ex-wife is uber-Mormon and I knew she would. But deep in my heart I knew there was nothing wrong with my children’s participation. Exposure to love is always a good thing. So, I said “OK”.

Without giving too many details to the kids I told them that I was going to a wedding and that I’d be taking the youngest with me. I gave the older 3 the choice to come or stay. Only my next youngest wanted to come. She’s the one I was kind of hoping would come.

As we were getting ready on the day, the two girls asked who was getting married. I told them it was an old friend of mine and that she was marrying another woman.

“Two girls?” the 5 year old asked.

“Yes, you know how on the TV show Friends, Ross’ ex-wife marries another woman?”

“Oh yeah”

(unbelievably my ex-wife allowed my kids to watch reruns of the show)

That’s all they said about it.

I took my 5 year old and 7 year old daughters (being already heavily indoctrinated Mormon) to a wedding of two lesbians. But according to the 2 girls I just took them to a wedding.

It took place in a beautiful park with a well-known state senator officiating. The reception was at a quaint local hotel. There was dancing and the other ladies seated at our table were gracious and friendly with my girls.

We ate. We danced.

It was beautiful.

It didn’t even register as remarkable enough on their radar to even mention it to their mom. At least I never heard any fallout from it…and believe me, I would have.

The girls have talked about it with me since then and not once have they referred to it as a “gay wedding.”

You know what really freaks kids out and stays in their mind forever?

When their parents freak out.

And neither of my daughters are any more (or less) likely to become lesbians themselves than they were before they attended the wedding.

“Protecting” children from understanding or seeing homosexuals doesn’t prevent them from becoming gay either.

This wedded friend and I knew a high school teacher who was a lesbian, but we would never have considered talking to our parents about it. My mom certainly would have freaked out. Keeping it so clandestine, however, didn’t prevent this friend from acknowledging her own lesbianism almost immediately out of high school.

And it certainly didn’t squelch my gayness one bit.