Click on the picture to “save” your dead Mormon relatives.

*I realize this seems somewhat disrespectful of a person’s religious beliefs. That’s actually the intent. As a Mormon I would have been clueless as to how offensive, arrogant and disrespectful the entire baptism for the dead doctrine is.

It’s not just disrespectful to Jews who died in the Holocaust. It is flippantly dismissive of everyone who lived a good life outside Mormonism.

See Also:

All Your Dead Mormons Are Belong To Us

Don’t all moms prepare their girls for the natural process of menstruation?

Do young girls in healthy relationships with their father normally inform him when she starts her first period?

I suppose most Dads are completely absent from the whole episode. Believe me, I haven’t attempted to be super involved in this particular event. But because of the way things have gone down over the last few years I’m a little peeved that my oldest daughter didn’t tell me a couple of months ago when it happened… and still hasn’t. Yet I’m even more shocked that my ex-wife apparently didn’t talk much about it with our little girl ahead of time.

I pride myself on being as open and present as possible in my kids lives. I’ve got an “ask anything” policy that they utilize quite often. I want them to feel free to question and to explore ideas without judgment. More often than not, in the past, this has meant them asking me about sex and other bodily functions.

Over the years the kids have asked me everything from body changes in puberty to various sex question (all pretty age appropriate). A couple of weeks ago my son called me up and asked, “Dad, can I ask you a personal question? Have you ever gotten a zit on your penis? ‘Cause I have one and it hurts and I am wondering if that’s normal.” Just this last weekend one of them had questions about hermaphrodites.

It’s all pretty random.

All along I’ve gotten the sense that these questions come to me because they don’t feel as safe in asking them to their mom, but I wasn’t sure. Oh, I know they do talk to their mom about other things. But if it is even remotely sexual or about their bodies they come to me.

About 4 years ago on a drive to Target my then 8 year old daughter started asking me about her impending menstruation. Yeah, totally out of the blue…with me – her gay, divorced father. So, I explained the biology of it as best I could and then we stopped at the “woman’s section” of Target and I showed her the various methods of dealing with it that we’d just discussed in the car. At the time I was actually quite proud of myself for the way I handled it. Since then she’s made small comments about the coming change.

The one question I couldn’t answer was what it felt like. I told her she’d have to ask her mom for an accurate reading on that one. And I lazily assumed she would. I don’t think she did. Her mom and I weren’t communicating too effectively ourselves at point (we still don’t, but it’s better) so I never relayed the expectation. I guess I also just assumed that years later when it actually happened my daughter would let me know.

This past weekend when I was staying with just the kids at their other house for the weekend, we were playing Sardines. When it was my turn, I decided to hide in my now 12 year old’s bed under the covers. It actually worked well as they all came in the room and didn’t see me the first time. But the point is that I noticed some blood on her sheets…more than from a pricked finger and less than something you’d panic about. So, I waited until we were alone later that night when I was tucking her in and I asked her…

OK, OK … so, as I typed that last sentence it kind of sounds weird and putting myself in a 12 year old girl’s shoes I probably would have frozen.

Like she did.

She just stared at me and didn’t say anything… the same exact reaction I get when I ask her about her schoolwork when I see her starting to get poor grades. She just completely shuts me out and pretends she doesn’t hear me. Unlike with the grade discussions, this time I just let it go.

A few days later I spoke on the phone with her mom and asked he if our baby had started her period.

“Yes, I’m surprised she hasn’t told you. It happened when…” (She tells me the whole story and I tell her she need to wash the kid’s sheets)

“She’s going to have to tell me when she comes to stay with me, isn’t she? Because I’m going to have to buy her stuff.”

“Yes. She will. I’m wondering about our 9 year old already, because she’s developing early in every other way”

“Well, have you talked to her about what to expect?”

“No. She’s in fourth grade and that’s when they have the special class in school.”

Cut to me shocked but silent on the phone.

Really? We’re leaving it up to the school?

Keep in mind that she and her family are big Tea Party fans who prefer limited government and personal responsibility, but we’re leaving personal hygiene and sex education to them nonetheless.

I’m so glad I at least had a talk with my girl even if it was a lame biological explanation.

Guess who is going to talk to his 9 year old next time we’re alone together.

Advice welcome.

Exhibit A: Posted on my personal Facebook wall:

"Today's lesson is on traditional biblically-approved marriages. Certainly grateful for the moral compass that lets rape victims know she at least gets to marry the attacker as long as he pays off her Dad."

 And here is the discussion that followed:

Commentor #1  ”Love that one.”

Commentor #2  ”The word rape in the context that it was written meens to have sex with a unmarried woman. Before you believe everything you read and form an opinion you should know what your talking about. I normally dont voice my opinion on here but I will when you take Gods word and put your own spin on it to support your beliefs. I have seen this happen on both sides of the marraige equality debate and for that I am sorry. I do believe marraige should be between 1 man and 1 woman however I also believe sin is sin and will not judge you anymore harshly than I do myself. God created all of us and loves all of us, that doesn’t mean we get free license to do as we desire without consequence however. I am not anymore worthy than you or anyone else to stand in judgement of another. If we as people would learn to put others before ourselves we would be alot better. That is what tolerance is to me, not agreeing with you or you agreeing with me.

Commentor #3 “Well said #2″

Commentor #4  ”Well, #2, even if you take away the “rape” issue, the “1 man, 1 woman” argument still is weak in the old testament….

Commentor#5 (Dadsprimalscream, Me) “That definition of rape does nothing to lessen the silliness of the rule… and modern Christians still don’t follow it given that meaning. The point of the slide still stands and that is that “traditional marriage” is nothing like people currently would like to believe. Many of these rules and regulations are easily dismissed as another culture and another time and yet most people fail to do so if the biblical passage still resonates with their current prejudices. They merely pick and chose, otherwise these forms of marriage would still be followed. What ends up happening is they create God in their image rather than following what the scripture actually says.

Commentor #2 I don’t believe it is wise to call Gods word weak or silly simply because you dont agree with it.That’s like saying you are smarter than the creator of the universe. I would not want to stand before Him and try to explain that one.Marraige has always been man and woman, never man and man, woman and woman. I do agree Dadsprimalscream that people tend to pick and choose. The forms of marraige your talking about are still followed in many parts of the world just not in the US. We have laws against such marraiges. I dont want to argue about this just wanted to point out the error in the interpretation of scripture and can completely understand how stupid it looks in relation to our traditions and laws. I am glad we dont live in that type of culture because if we did we probably would not be allowed to have this conversation either. I meant no disrespect by my original post. Have a great day.

So I let the discussion die there.

What’s worse? My calling “God’s word” silly as an obvious unbeliever, or supposed followers of God blatantly dismissing “God’s word” by their chronic refusal to obey it wholly?

I could go on forever and list all the scriptures that believers willingly disregard. But here are just a few of my favorite passages that Mormons and/or Christians desregard thus proving to Jesus that they’re just not all that into him as they profess:

1. Government involvement in personal lives: Jesus clearly tells Mormons in Doctrine and Covenants 134:4,7 that government should never be used to infringe upon the rights of others in matters of “conscience” but current Mormon leaders just aren’t into that kind of Jesus and decided to promote their own brand of civic morality when they encouraged their members to bankroll Prop 8 in California.
2. Enemies.Jesus taught Christians a very unique way of dealing with enemies, but I can’t really find any evidence among the Christian mainstream of their willingness to comply with His methods:
   1. Matt 5:25 ”Agree with thine adversary quickly”
   2. Matt 5:39 ”but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also”
   3. Matt 5:44 ”Love your enemies”
   4. Rom 12:14 ”Bless them which persecute you”
3. Money and Wealth. Jesus and the righteous people in the Book of Mormon appear to have been socialists
   1. Matt 19:23 “If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me.”
   2. 4 Nephi 1 “And they had all things common among them; therefore there were not rich and poor, bond and free, but they were all made free, and partakers of the heavenly gift.

And that’s not even adding anything from the Old Testament!

The same chapters and books in the Old Testament that seemingly condemn homosexuality, and which believers eagerly latch onto, contain a host of other silly rules and regulations that they likewise easily ignore when it doesn’t match their prejudices or plans for a convenient life.

THEN

NOW

Suddenly the world was no longer a “temptation” with the next personal “fall” right around the next corner. There was no longer darkness, only light.

But the odd part is that I had never previously thought that I had considered the world as such a scary place. I appreciated God’s creation, both the roses and the thorns. I saw the potential in my fellow human beings for goodness… It’s only in retrospect that I was able to recognize the essential element of  my religious perspective  on life, the world and humanity.

It was darkness.

As I have recently taken up listening to Hymns sung by the Mormon Tab I have been rather dismayed by a common thread in most of the lyrics. It is essentially, “Everything is bleak and dark, but God supplies the light.” Take even one of the more upbeat hymns:

The Day Dawn is Breaking

The Day dawn is breaking,

The world is awaking,

The clouds of night’s darkness are fleeing away.

The worldwide commotion from ocean to ocean,

Now heralds the time of the beautiful day

The lyricists and performers of these songs are coming from a place of darkness and fear. It’s that base of negativity that is essential for the accompanying hope that I used to recognize in Mormon hymns and teachings.

Without fear, the world and indeed life itself don’t need any saving or redeeming.

This sort of need for the darkness is certainly a pattern within religions, Mormonism especially; they create an imaginary problem (or at least exaggerate a small reality) and then set themselves up as the solution, the savior. And that sort of pattern trickles down all the way to the individual and to their loving relationships.

Lead Kindly Light

Lead, kindly light, amid the encircling gloom,

Lead thou me on;

The Night is dark, and I am far from home;

Lead thou me on

For example, my parent’s relationship was pretty good all things considered. Of course I don’t know ALL the details but of what I do know, their greatest problem was my Dad’s lackadaisical Mormonness contrasted with my Mom’s uber-Mormonness.  The church set up the problem. She needed a worthy faithful priesthood holder. My Dad is a good guy but didn’t pay his 10% tithing consistently and so he was deemed unworthy (and therefore was barred from most of his children’s weddings). He couldn’t be religious enough in her eyes. But take the church out of the equation and they were two people who liked each other, complemented each other and could probably manage their challenges.

I saw the exact same issue play out in my ex-in-laws. They actually divorced at one point because he wasn’t Mormon. She had been inactive herself when they first married after she got pregnant. But over the years the guilt and the Mormon obsession over marrying in the temple ate at her until she filed for divorce. A year later they remarried under some apparent agreement that he eternally keep his mouth shut about religion while she and the kids can shamelessly spout off about faithfulness, worthiness and eternal marriage whenever they want. Again, remove the church from the equation and they are two people who are incredibly well-matched for one another.

The church creates the problem. Then, when the women are beating themselves up for not having married up enough, the church teaches them that they (and their fabricated God) are the one that can comfort them  in their pain and time of need.

Abide with Me

Abide with me!

Fast falls the eventide;

The darkness deepens.

Lord, with me abide!

The deeper the darkness the more you need The Lord, Heavenly Father, God, The church, the temple, and a prophet.  Without it, however, humans do remarkably well on their own.

This is why I bristle at my kids being taught that they are in a precarious world that they need to cry out and sing:

Teach Me to Walk in the Light

Teach me to walk in the light of his love;

Teach me to pray to my father above;

Teach me to know of the things that are right;

Teach me, teach me to walk in the light.

It sounds like the kids are subtly being told they are surrounded by darkness and need to carefully navigate the world; but only God and righteous parents can help.

The truth is that light and happiness come from within. It’s not out there. Light is here and now…maybe the kids just need to learn to harness it and exploit it properly…but that it comes from a place of strength and courage, not from a place of fear and darkness. That only sets us up to never be good enough, never “in the light” enough, and never perfect enough.  The light is never bright enough; if there’s only dim light it’s not good enough:

More Holiness Give Me

More Holiness give me,

More strivings within,

More patience in suffering,

More sorrow for sin

So when God gives you more, is it ever enough? No.

In fact it’s that fear of the dim light or unworthiness that keeps so many of our loved ones in the religion of their birth. If instead of the default perspective being darkness it were seen as goodness and light, our children would have a greater source of strength in their surroundings and hope in the present.

If our children could love and appreciate the nuances and variations in the dim light they wouldn’t need the lowly imploring that these hymns and teachings encourage.

Does the darkness exist? Of course!

Darkness is not wickedness, but that which we don’t know or understand. Start off in the light with the things we do know and understand and then we can go exploring in the darkness using our own self-generated light as guides.

]]> https://dadsprimalscream.wordpress.com/2012/02/15/the-subtle-message-of-the-darkness/feed/ 4 dadsprimalscream sunlight-vitamin-d Darkness and Light clouds light-in-darkness earth_dark_light https://dadsprimalscream.wordpress.com/2012/02/11/10-highlights-of-my-nyc-trip-and-how-to-maximize-your-nyc-trip/ https://dadsprimalscream.wordpress.com/2012/02/11/10-highlights-of-my-nyc-trip-and-how-to-maximize-your-nyc-trip/#comments Sat, 11 Feb 2012 20:54:08 +0000 dadsprimalscream http://dadsprimalscream.wordpress.com/?p=3180 Continue reading →]]> 10 Ways to enjoy a vacation to to New York City

1.  Ensure your traveling companion has these qualities. Mine was/is the easiest person to travel with… (THANK YOU Permaguilt for a wonderful time!)

• Flexible, but not a pushover
• Interested AND interesting
• High energy but not high maintenance
• Fun, funny and friendly
• Gracious and appreciative
• Similar tastes in food, drinks, shows and sites
• Heart of gold with a little bit of the devilish mixed in
• Fabulous

"The Meedles" in Time Square station

2.  Stop to appreciate the buskers and street art, good or bad. We saw:

• The Meedles – A Beetles cover band performing in Time Square Station. Their homely appearance and blank expressions belied their talent and how much fun it was to listen to them
• Preachers in Time Square – At one point we came upon several black men dressed in black knight outfits claiming to be the real Hebrews, the REAL Jews. Two young Jewish boys were getting really bent out of shape and were sucked into their game. You can’t pay for that sort of entertainment
• Comedians – Lots of guys trying to sell us comedy show tickets but when we asked them to give us a sample of something funny they couldn’t. Another dude walked up to us and had a great personality, told us a few corny jokes and we game him some of our money.
  

  Preachers...The REAL Hebraic Jews or something like that. I got a picture of the cute one.

• Subway musicians – We came upon a few musicians in the subway, a mariachi band, a guitar player rock star wannabe
• Dancers – We happened upon some street dancers – so-so in talent. They were having a blast as were the passers-by. Watching people enjoy themselves is half the fun anyway.

3.  Explore the food

4.  See Shows: Here’s what we saw

This time I also took the opportunity to reunite with my first year college roommate at NYU.

We had prearranged a lunch date. It was special and uplifting.

You see, college is the time in life when we start to figure ourselves out. We struggle with independence and our own sense of morality which will guide our lives. I was pondering such things as a mission, sexual experimentation, guilt, my religion. At the same time, my roommate was tiptoeing out of the closet and pondering that effect on relationships, career choices and love. He was contemplating making choices that are age appropriate and now further down the road it shows.

At the time we lived together I didn’t know he was out to most of his friends and even our other roommate. I was left in the dark (I wasn’t really ignorant of the fact. It just wasn’t spoken in my presence). I asked during our lunch if that was because he was afraid I’d self-righteously judge him. It was.

I now find it ironic that, while I was complying with all things Mormon at the time, he was complying with his own inner voice for personal integrity. Today I look at him as a mentor of sorts in both personal and professional endeavors.

In his personal life, he was in a 15 year relationship with a man with whom he now shares custody of his 10 year old child. That relationship ended when the child was born (long story). He’s now 9 years into a committed partnership with a very successful and handsome man. His current partner (one of the most powerful men on Broadway…very successful in his own right) is like a 3^rd dad to his son and they all get along. Some may say that his first relationship failed. I don’t see it that way and neither does he. Longevity isn’t the only measure of a successful relationship. I could tell that the three men in the son’s life still respect and love one another.

Professionally, my former roommate is a manager and producer in the entertainment business. He manages award winning actors you’d be familiar with (including his former partner) and currently produces a show which is among my favorite on cable TV. He got started in this career path back when we were in college while I was working myself into guilt fits and all my emotional energy was intensely focused on denying truths about myself.

In a nutshell, while I was preoccupied with Turning It Off, he was turning it on. I’m very proud of the life that he’s made for himself.

We talked about our families, our careers, our love lives. I count myself fortunate to have regained a friend after I had spent so many years and so much energy on ventures that didn’t produce the promised results (Mormonism).

It’s nice to be reminded that there really are like-minded, family-focused gay men out there. After my recent dating experiences I walked away from this lunch date with a refreshed sense of what’s important to me and what is possible in a future relationship. We promised to do it again when either of us are the other’s coast.

Moral of the story for my children and any young person reading this… Choose NOW to follow your inner voice. It’s never too late of course but the decision to Turn It Off will have a cumulative negative impact on all aspects of your life. By contrast, start now to live a life of integrity. Live on the outside in a manner consistent with how you feel on the inside and it will pay positive dividends for the rest of your life.

I’m in New York City right now and went to see a Broadway show last night… Priscilla Queen of the Desert.

I can’t even begin to describe how campy, fun and joyful the play is. I loved it… and I was in it!

At the beginning of the second act the scene is a small outback town in Australia and the cast pulled a half-dozen or so audience members to join them onstage for the dancing. I was chosen, or actually I volunteered. I was sitting in an isle seat and I saw one of the cast members a few rows up trying to coerce someone to join her and the person didn’t want to…so I waved at her to indicate I’d do it… and so up I went!

Me. Onstage. On Broadway. Check.

It was surreal. It was hilarious. It was a blast. I was up there for about a minute skipping in a circle and doing the polka with my friendly cast member…and finally taking a bow.

And here’s the Mormon connection… Will Swenson, the lead in the play is Mormon although I understand he’s not active.

If you’ve seen the movie, Priscilla Queen of the Desert, and enjoyed it then you have got to see the play. My favorite part was in the end when Swenson’s character is reading a bedtime story to his young son with whom he’s recently been reunited. It reminds me of how innocent and non-judgmental children are just naturally. The boy couldn’t care less that his Dad is a drag queen. He just wants a Dad and there’s a purity in the connection between father and son that reminded me of why I love being a Dad myself.

Beyond that, the fabulous, and I do mean FABULOUS costumes were amazing. Campy 80′s music and hilarious pop culture references make this a play not to be missed if you’re in New York. And get an orchestra seat on the isle and maybe you’ll make it onstage too!

Sadly, my son does.

The other day while tucking my children in at night I noticed his written blessing sitting on a table in his room and my gut sank.

I confess… I read it later and it disappointed me. It was actually a step up from a mere sermon like my last PB, but it was still void of any specific inspiration or anything that couldn’t be said about any boy his age in the church.

You will serve a mission..blah, blah…

You will make God happy by your unwavering faithfulness…yada, yada…

You will serve in callings..blah, blah…

You will be an example to your family and friends because you will be so incredibly Mormon… etc.

Long ago, Mormon fathers were able to give their own sons a Patriarchal Blessing.

So, what sort of things would I want say to my son as his father? Things that he’d pay attention to and constantly revisit as if it were a patriarchal blessing?

I think I’d first try to focus on the things that are truly unique about him, things that set him apart from other 14 year old boys. My son has always had a verbal gift. He can talk openly about subjects that would make other 14 year old boys blush. He’s also quite a public speaker and performer. I’d encourage him to focus on these strengths, to be proud of them and to develop them. That stands in direct contrast to the Mormon impulse to overly worry about weaknesses and to try to make those “weaknesses become strong” in order to maintain “worthiness.” That’s a horrible way to approach personal enrichment in my opinion. People who achieve a sense of happiness and excellence do so by engaging in high flow activities….things they can excel at. I think weaknesses tend to take care of themselves when time and energy are focused on such endeavors that address personal strengths.

I’d try to not make his blessing self-serving. So much of anyone’s patriarchal blessing is just a long-winded spiritual masturbation session. By that I mean it serves the church itself, the one bestowing the blessing, not the individual. Everything points towards setting the person up to be a committed church member….”You will serve in leadership callings”, “through your example others will have their testimonies strengthened”, “You will find a sweet daughter of our heavenly father to take to the temple.” These are all generic commandments given to any 14 year boy that set them on a path of church dedication if followed. While I’d love to advise him to be kind, loving and obedient towards his parents, those are the type of self-serving comments I’d avoid.

I would, however, encourage him to nurture his relationship with his sisters as a lifelong goal. I don’t have that sort of relationship with my siblings and yet I believe it serves people well who do. I’d encourage him to make unconditional love  be the foundation of that relationship… encouragement like they are members of the same team rather than competitors….and acceptance like they are hosts of safe havens rather than righteous judges of one another.

I’d also suggest that most life answers already lie within him and that there’s no need to look outwardly for direction guidance and comfort. When I left the LDS faith, the thing I feared greatly was having no source of well-being and direction…after all, I’d lost the Holy Ghost. But as I reflected on those former “spiritual” experiences and on my new-found atheistic leanings I had to discover where those experiences and feelings came from if not from God. If I was the only part of the equation that existed they came from me. I had learned and nurtured the ability in Mormonism to work myself into a “burning bosom” frenzy and also to calm myself through prayer before a major life event. I still have those abilities and it’s actually more effective and rewarding to be free to adapt and alter the techniques rather than to follow a formula. YOU are the God of your soul.

Like any good Mormon kid, my son has an overactive conscience and a deep sense of guilt. I’d encourage my son to lighten up and to not be afraid of mistakes.

I’d tell him to learn about his heritage and to be proud of where his fore bearers came from, but to not let it define or restrict him. He’s neither restricted nor entitled by his ancestors.

Like most firstborn children, my son an ingrained sense of responsibility that just seems to escape the younger ones. I can trust him and he’s rarely disappointed me. I’d encourage him to leverage that ability to gain trust and respect for powerfully good things.

And lastly because I see so much of my 14 year old self in my son, I’d advise him to have the courage to find his own path in life, free from the expectations and regulations of his current surroundings. I’d want him to not be afraid of disappointing his parents, but to unsure he won’t disappoint his 40 year old future self by taking the easy predetermined life path that is set before him today.

5 – The number of those that are pictures of an LDS temple.

6 – The number of those that are renderings of Jesus.

1 – One is a huge framed (24″ x 36″) Proclamation on the Family.

I gave a speech recently, an empowerment speech to a gay audience, and it included the line ‘I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better.’ And they tried to get me to change it, because they said it implies that homosexuality can be a choice.

And for me, it is a choice. I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me.

A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because if it’s a choice, then we could opt out. I say it doesn’t matter if we flew here or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay and who is not.

As you can tell, I am very annoyed about this issue. Why can’t it be a choice? Why is that any less legitimate? It seems we’re just ceding this point to bigots who are demanding it, and I don’t think that they should define the terms of the debate. I also feel like people think I was walking around in a cloud and didn’t realize I was gay, which I find really offensive. I find it offensive to me, but I also find it offensive to all the men I’ve been out with.

– Sex and the City veteran Cynthia Nixon to Alex Witchel in the New York Times on the response to her saying she chose to be gay.

Perhaps surprisingly to some, I support and agree with her. I can conceive that homosexuality MAY be a choice for her. She says that she has lived as a heterosexual AND as a homosexual. I believe that that’s actually called bisexuality. In other words, she is able to happily cross from one world into another. She weighed the pros and cons of each relationship and self-identity type and has made a selection of which one she prefers.

I don’t feel threatened at all by her statement. I lived for 10 years as a straight man. I also dated a man who claims he chose to be gay. Like me, he was once married, fathered 2 children and later began relationships with men and found those relationships to be more rewarding and satisfying both sexually and emotionally.

Where my story differs from this boyfriend of mine and from Nixon’s claim is that I don’t believe I chose to be gay. They did. I didn’t.

If you are so sure that I chose it, I expect a clear detailed explanation of when you chose to be straight and how tempting homosexuality was for you.

Even while I was married I felt uncomfortable in my straight skin. You see, I was pretending. I was deceiving myself more than anyone, because I believed the other lie… that it is always a choice.

It is not always a choice, nor is it never a choice.

I believe homosexuality is rarely a choice, but it can be a choice.

We are all individuals and keepers of our own life stories. Why should I not believe someone who tells their story like Nixon. It doesn’t automatically negate my story. I know that my living as a straight man didn’t make me straight any more than Heath Ledger’s performance in Brokeback Mountain made him gay. Pretending is not the same as being.

That something may be a choice doesn’t even negate its qualification for full rights and privileges. Religious affiliation is a choice (actually much less a choice than religious people claim in my opinion) but religious people still enjoy full rights in our society. Even if 99% of homosexuals choose it, how does that somehow disqualify the 1% who didn’t choose it from full equal protection under the law.

Of course, the entire “choice” argument is a non-sequitur in the argument against gay rights. It’s irrelevant. It distracts from the real issue of whether or not your own personal brand of religion should be legislated or not.

Let’s let everyone make their own life choices and tell our own life stories. We are not all the same.