Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Sitting on the outside patio at a gay bar, my friends and I struck up a conversation with a couple of lesbians sitting nearby. As you might imagine we were all relaxed and enjoying ourselves but no one was embarrassingly drunk. Oddly enough, gay men and lesbians don’t always mix well, but my friends and I are not that type of gay. So, we were having fun and enjoying our new friends.
This was in CA soon after the Prop 8 fiasco. Everyone in that environment was venting their frustration and discussing LGBT issues. I think you’d have to live in a cave not to know, but just in case, LGBT is an acronym for Lesbian, Gay Bisexual and Transgender.
Then to my shock, one of the women started railing about how it chafes her panties that we have to include the “T” in our fight for civil rights. Transgendered folks have an entirely unique body of issues and it irritated her that gays and lesbians got bunched in with them when it’s not the same thing. She didn’t want to have to fight for their rights.
In all fairness, it frustrates me too when homosexuality is referred to as a gender issue. Not one gay man or lesbian that I know of wants to become the other sex. Being attracted to the same sex and wanting to live as the other sex are not the same thing at all. But when your brain is small, lazy, confused and you can’t care enough to really think about the issue I can understand when you might label everything you don’t understand as gender confusion (Like Mormons, and their cronies do).
But I am horrified at the notion that we should exclude anyone from a fight for equal opportunity and justice because they are not the same as us. In fact, it’s precisely the people who have the momentum of power and approval that can bring the most change. My heroes are the ones who have no personal reason to fight other than to do what is just and right.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Take Jim Zwerg, for example. He was a white college student who knew he’d be targeted as a “race traitor” when he joined the Freedom Riders in the 1960′s civil rights movement. But he did it anyway.
He lost his family. His parents disowned him, but when others saw him on the TV news reports many other whites joined the fight and became an unstoppable force for good.
Segregation must be stopped. It must be broken down…We’re dedicated to this. We’ll take hitting. We’ll take beating. – Jim Zwerg
Helmuth Hübener was a German Mormon boy who at the age of 16 recognized the Nazi terror for what it was. He disloyally renounced his country’s leadership and dismissed his church’s policy on Nazi Germany by secretly writing, printing and distributing anti-fascist and anti-war leaflets. He recruited two other young friends who scattered the documents throughout Hamburg by surreptitiously pinning them on bulletin boards, inserting them into letterboxes, and stuffing them in coat pockets.
At the age of only 17 he was arrested, ex-communicated by his church, tried and executed in Berlin. He wasn’t Jewish. He wasn’t a Gypsy or a Homosexual or part of any other targeted group but when he saw injustice and tyranny he resisted.
Do you know the country without freedom, the country of terror and tyranny? Yes, you know it well, but are afraid to talk about it. They have intimidated you to such an extent that you don’t dare talk for fear of reprisals. Through their unscrupulous terror tactics against young and old, men and women, they have succeeded in making you spineless puppets to do their bidding. -Helmuth Hübener
Straight Men and Women who Defend Gay Rights
When Pop 8 was passed there was a peaceful protest march in the city where I lived that attracted around 80,000 people. I joined it. One would think it would be all LGBT folks but marching along with us there was a significant representation of straight couples and friends who were as outraged as those of us directly impacted.
Take Jeffrey Nielson, a former BYU professor or Peter and Mary Danzig a straight Salt Lake City couple – they lost respected jobs and volunteer positions for publicly defending gay marriage. Straight people defending gay rights.
Dan Savage’s It Gets Better project is now the thing to do, but early on there were videos posted by people like straight All-American Wrestler, Columbia University Coach Hudson Taylor sending a message to gay youth that you are “welcome and included in my world.” I can say for myself that as a gay teen that would have had a far greater impact on me that 10 of the other videos combined…to just know that there were men like that out there.
There are people such as Dr. William Bradshaw and Dan Pingree who publicly defend their gay LDS brothers and sons. Yes, they do have a bit of a leg in the race, but it’s much easier and much more commonplace to sit back in apathy and ignorance. After all, it’s not their “problem” but they’ve taken the time and thought that it requires to study it out and to reach their own conclusions independent of their loved ones.
In fact, when we examine the statements opposing gay marriage, we find few reasonable arguments. It is not enough to claim that we should oppose gay marriage because historically it has never been recognized. This is the fallacy
of appealing to tradition, which was also used to fight against civil rights and equal
treatment of women.
Further, to say that gay marriage will destroy traditional marriage and the family without giving any reasons why is the fallacy of appealing to fear. Indeed, once you get past the emotion, it is quite an unfounded claim. How could the union of two committed and loving people negatively affect my marriage? I believe that quite the contrary is true; namely, legalizing gay marriage reinforces the importance of committed relationships and would strengthen the institution of marriage. – Jeffrey Nielson
I don’t have to be a woman, black, Hispanic, disabled, lesbian, bi, or trans to believe in or fight for their rights. As much as I disagree with the LDS Church, I’d be the first one fighting for their right to worship as they please. Courageous men and women are the ones who stand up for the underdog even if they disagree and even if they’re not directly affected. It creates a better world for our children. I want my children to learn this trait but it takes prizing justice over loyalty, the reverse of what the are learning in church.
Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.- Oscar Wilde
So, uh yeah, I do think the “T” belongs there in LGBT. In fact I’d also add every other letter of the alphabet that symbolizes any other group or individual hindered in any way from “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”
Transgendered man
Transgendered woman
Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Awesome post! I wholeheartedly concur!
Re: In all fairness, it frustrates me too when homosexuality is referred to as a gender issue. Not one gay man or lesbian that I know of wants to become the other sex.
Interesting point. I know that I nearly always group LGBT issues and women’s issues together as “gender issues” in my weekly “Sunday in Outer Blogness” round-up. But it’s not about gays and lesbians “wanting to become the other sex” — that never even crossed my mind.
To me, the LGBT movement and the women’s movement are both fighting (among other things) against restrictive gender roles and gender expectations. So I agree that *T* belongs in *LGBT* — even if transgendered people have some issues that don’t apply to LGBs. And (being a feminist) I always assumed that Feminism and LGBT are logically grouped under a larger blanket category of “gender issues.”
But if you don’t agree with this grouping, I’m willing to listen and be more sensitive to other perspectives in my choice of terminology.
I suppose they are all collectively gender issues. But what they aren’t is gender confusion and that’s unfortunately how it gets labeled and understood. Feminists are not all lesbians confused about their proper role any more than gay men are confused about their own gender. Does that make sense?
Take for instance the LDS “Proclamation on the Family”. There’s a line that says, “Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.” I suppose that that is intended for all these folks having gender issues because they think we’re confused or not adapting properly to our eternal gender. But the truth is that I have no problem imagining I have always been a man and always will be. I don’t think feminists have a problem with being women and I don’t even see trans folks having a problem with the concept that they’ve always been one gender either, but that biology screwed something up along the way.
So, gender issue OK, not gender confusion
Exactly. I’m sure you know that feminists constantly get accused of “wanting to be men”. So I can see not wanting feminism to be called a “gender issue” by people who think that term means that I have psychological issues about being a woman (I don’t). However, when I use the term “gender issues”, I mean political issues that involve gender (eg. gender discrimination).
Do you have an idea of another term I might use to avoid the ambiguity surrounding the word “issues”?
@chanson – I know what you mean. I read your Sunday round-up and it’s never bothered me at all. But I guess it’s the same idea of, “I can say such and such about my family, but you can’t”. When someone is on your side and they misuse a term you get the idea and it’s OK. But when someone who clearly doesn’t understand starts lumping everything they can’t fathom into a “gender issue” category, they ARE talking about the psychological issues
The challenge of finding the right term is tough! I’ve heard some people trying to add a “Q” at the end (LGBTQ) to mean “Queer” which supposedly encompasses everyone left out of the fist four letters. But that’s such an emotionally charged word that I don’t believe it works. I think that was my whole point in the original post… Let’s include every fathomable kind of discrimination in our attempts to wipe it out rather than having to piecemeal fight it every 30 years.
My favorite protest poster I saw during that march I mentioned said “I can’t believe we still have to protest this shit! *Slavery *Women’s right to vote *Racial Civil Rights…Gay Rights”
I had a picture of it but I couldn’t find it to insert in this post…but I found one like it online that I’m going to add to the end of the post
I love this.
As a kid, I told my parents that I would have fought against racial discrimination. I would have been there marching with Martin Luther King, Jr. I wasn’t alive to do that. I AM alive to change the discrimination I see around me.
I think my favorite line in this was, “So, uh yeah, I do think the “T” belongs there in LGBT. In fact I’d also add every other letter of the alphabet that symbolizes any other group or individual hindered in any way from “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”
When I think about LGBT issues, I think of people that are hurting. And I don’t believe any of us can be free to pursue happiness if ALL of us are not free.
@Jen – I’d like to imagine that I would have fought racial discrimination too… but as a pretty fanatic Mormon I probably wouldn’t have. None of my relatives did… and my parents would probably be totally fine today if I brought home a partner of any race. My Mom is dead but I never got racist vibes from her and certainly not from my Dad. Ignorant – yes; Racist – no.
On the other hand, Mom especially would have freaked if I’d come out while she was alive. My Dad was wonderful, but is really only Mormon in name anymore. Their discrimination really only came about as a result of their obedience to the LDS church.I can’t judge them too harshly, even I canvassed my neighbors for CA Prop 22 back when I was married and Mormon. The LDS church encourages a LOT of people to go against their inner convictions…and I was as guilty as anyone. (I feel another blog post coming on regarding this)
I never canvassed neighbors, and even as a pretty staunch mormon, I hated prop 8… BUT, when a friend told me he was a cross-dresser, I believed it was my responsibility to help him overcome his addiction. He told me I was a self-righteous bitch, and he was right. I was. It still makes me really sad that I didn’t even think about him… I just thought about what I believed was “right”. I hope I’m not that person anymore.
I think the reason I write here is to help me get over what a self-righteous asshole I was as a Mormon as well as to deal with the ones I still have to interact with. Like you, I hope I’m not that person anymore.
Well said!
I had never heard the very moving story of Helmuth Hübener until I was making my exit out of the LDS church and always wondered why it wasn’t more popular. Thanks for the all the other examples. We as humans are tribal people and it is a natural instinct to want to be part of a herd. It is just that some of us have to work hard at not excluding anyone from our own individual herds. Thanks for your post and examples!
Hugs,Miguel
You’re welcome! Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Pingback: Sunday in Outer Blogness: Living in a Society Edition! | Main Street Plaza